a jumble of words
haha i feel like i have damn alot of things to comment about other people's entry so here goes! :D
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i guess it is hard to get the group of words in the correct permutation to really portray what you mean. rather than let someone misunderstand you, i'd rather keep it to myself. to me its a better solution and also a safer one. perhaps regretful, but nonetheless a happier equilibrium. maybe this wasn't the point that you were trying to make (see, possible misunderstanding!!!) but that's kinda what i thought you were trying to say.
and related to the post. i think im in a state of 'i-have-no-idea-how-to-express-myself'. horrified. and i'll leave it at that. haha.
but anw, wtfos, i semi dun get get teller and understanding ear part. why issit such a bad thing? huhs? and whats the first song uh? AND i just sang the second song at teoheng. MUAHAHA. anw, i think songs are good, some totally suit my mood completely. WHEE!
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cs! gongxi you finally blogged after a million-years long hiatus! i really wanna respond to your blogpost. but for the benefit of my potential other readers, i'm gg to quote u here k. so what i reply will make sense. you can demand for me to take it down la. but that's provided that you even see this! HAHA.
"The psychic I went to told me that I would have 2 deep relationships in my life, and the next man (whom I might even marry) will be in 2 years’ time or less. So I was musing to Annabelle, I said to her that I wanted to know who, to put a definite face to this man, so that I would be able to put all of my love and emotions in this relationship….
And then I stopped myself, because I made it seem as if I have a given amount of love in me, and I don’t want to spend/waste or give any of it unless I’m sure he is the One. I’ve come to realise that my perception has been deeply influenced by Econs. Ugh… No wonder I fail at relationships… the problem has always been me… I don’t give my all, I say I Love You’s when I’m not even sure if I mean it. From today on, I’ve got to tell myself this… I shouldn’t be afraid to love, because love is undying… Love is unconditional. Love is irrational. I got to feel it, give it… and most importantly, I shouldn’t guard my heart and build walls around it.
But Annabelle told me not to, because I would suffer more if it ended in a heartbreak. Which is somewhat true…? But I reckon I shouldn’t pull down the walls around my heart only when Mr. Right comes along. Because then I wouldn’t know who he is… and missed opportunities will bring about regret.
What do you think?"
first thing. haha. i dun believe in psychics. how can you believe what someone else tells you about your life? >_< and did u watch/read the twilight series? rmb the character alice who saw jasper in her future and all she did was to wait for him to appear. i mean if i could do it, i probably wouldn't trust it. i mean wouldn't you want to fight it and pretend that you have some autonomy in your life? and to your mental barriers thing. i dun think its easy to take down your walls. and i dun think its smth you can consciously tell yourself to do so. i mean, even for friends you need to take time to know them, to trust them, to start opening up to them. how can you dictate your brain to just function in a different way? and here i recall a quote from yet another friend. walls are built to keep people out, to keep yourself in. (i had another reason for the walls previously but its not coming back to me now) in a way they're there for a reason, im sure there will be some event that would help you tear them down, to motivate you to build a door through it, or someone else who will demolish your wall brick by brick. or i would like to think so. HAHA.
maybe im also a bit too pragmatic, or you could say inexperienced, but i dun believe in unconditional-ness. i think its human nature to be selfish (in a sense) and its just how much you're willing to accept someone else as a part of your life, and therefore the amount you'll give, given your expected receipts from it. (i'm not saying this is equal like a trade off, rather its just a form of measurement)
andddd. i dun think missed opportunities will bring abt much regret, cuz you're never sure they're opportunities anw. plus i'm totally for self-preservation AND am rather risk-adverse, so... i kinda prefer your annabelle friend's theory... guess I’d rather miss smth good den risk the chance of getting on smth bad. but ok, tts just my take la hur. (:
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anwwww. looooong week again. finally slept a little more. :DDD today feels like a good day!
and yay me i have FINALLY sent stuff out to EY and PWC. (aldoh yesyes, i've told everyone who ever reads this blog that i'm actually doing insurance now, i think its only going to be a few months thing. unless i get DAMN ALOT OF CLIENTS. so thanks, please refer to me if any. haha) i think i'm still eventually going to audit to try to have a proper thing on my resume. pay off my loan. boooooring. but oh well. :S
its still a good day! (:
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i guess it is hard to get the group of words in the correct permutation to really portray what you mean. rather than let someone misunderstand you, i'd rather keep it to myself. to me its a better solution and also a safer one. perhaps regretful, but nonetheless a happier equilibrium. maybe this wasn't the point that you were trying to make (see, possible misunderstanding!!!) but that's kinda what i thought you were trying to say.
and related to the post. i think im in a state of 'i-have-no-idea-how-to-express-myself'. horrified. and i'll leave it at that. haha.
but anw, wtfos, i semi dun get get teller and understanding ear part. why issit such a bad thing? huhs? and whats the first song uh? AND i just sang the second song at teoheng. MUAHAHA. anw, i think songs are good, some totally suit my mood completely. WHEE!
---
cs! gongxi you finally blogged after a million-years long hiatus! i really wanna respond to your blogpost. but for the benefit of my potential other readers, i'm gg to quote u here k. so what i reply will make sense. you can demand for me to take it down la. but that's provided that you even see this! HAHA.
"The psychic I went to told me that I would have 2 deep relationships in my life, and the next man (whom I might even marry) will be in 2 years’ time or less. So I was musing to Annabelle, I said to her that I wanted to know who, to put a definite face to this man, so that I would be able to put all of my love and emotions in this relationship….
And then I stopped myself, because I made it seem as if I have a given amount of love in me, and I don’t want to spend/waste or give any of it unless I’m sure he is the One. I’ve come to realise that my perception has been deeply influenced by Econs. Ugh… No wonder I fail at relationships… the problem has always been me… I don’t give my all, I say I Love You’s when I’m not even sure if I mean it. From today on, I’ve got to tell myself this… I shouldn’t be afraid to love, because love is undying… Love is unconditional. Love is irrational. I got to feel it, give it… and most importantly, I shouldn’t guard my heart and build walls around it.
But Annabelle told me not to, because I would suffer more if it ended in a heartbreak. Which is somewhat true…? But I reckon I shouldn’t pull down the walls around my heart only when Mr. Right comes along. Because then I wouldn’t know who he is… and missed opportunities will bring about regret.
What do you think?"
first thing. haha. i dun believe in psychics. how can you believe what someone else tells you about your life? >_< and did u watch/read the twilight series? rmb the character alice who saw jasper in her future and all she did was to wait for him to appear. i mean if i could do it, i probably wouldn't trust it. i mean wouldn't you want to fight it and pretend that you have some autonomy in your life? and to your mental barriers thing. i dun think its easy to take down your walls. and i dun think its smth you can consciously tell yourself to do so. i mean, even for friends you need to take time to know them, to trust them, to start opening up to them. how can you dictate your brain to just function in a different way? and here i recall a quote from yet another friend. walls are built to keep people out, to keep yourself in. (i had another reason for the walls previously but its not coming back to me now) in a way they're there for a reason, im sure there will be some event that would help you tear them down, to motivate you to build a door through it, or someone else who will demolish your wall brick by brick. or i would like to think so. HAHA.
maybe im also a bit too pragmatic, or you could say inexperienced, but i dun believe in unconditional-ness. i think its human nature to be selfish (in a sense) and its just how much you're willing to accept someone else as a part of your life, and therefore the amount you'll give, given your expected receipts from it. (i'm not saying this is equal like a trade off, rather its just a form of measurement)
andddd. i dun think missed opportunities will bring abt much regret, cuz you're never sure they're opportunities anw. plus i'm totally for self-preservation AND am rather risk-adverse, so... i kinda prefer your annabelle friend's theory... guess I’d rather miss smth good den risk the chance of getting on smth bad. but ok, tts just my take la hur. (:
---
anwwww. looooong week again. finally slept a little more. :DDD today feels like a good day!
and yay me i have FINALLY sent stuff out to EY and PWC. (aldoh yesyes, i've told everyone who ever reads this blog that i'm actually doing insurance now, i think its only going to be a few months thing. unless i get DAMN ALOT OF CLIENTS. so thanks, please refer to me if any. haha) i think i'm still eventually going to audit to try to have a proper thing on my resume. pay off my loan. boooooring. but oh well. :S
its still a good day! (: