EMO.
i think getting older really makes you think. >< i really dont feel that im faring badly, considering that im actually getting an education... blablabla. and i actually do get to travel and see so many things they dont. my goodness.
so what if i have parents who are BFSIJDFGAIG-ly irritating, im like damn happy they're alive la. ok, angsty at myself from just being so irritable to them. *slaps* arghs and i can't bring myself to go apologise to them. i suck. GRR. =X
ok, not just this kinda random stuff that happens anyway. i think life really changed for me now that im more in control of my life. working at SB really did make me wake up. YESYES, i know i always worked anw. but those environments were so... sheltered. i was still able to randomly ask for money from my parents, and the salaries that i've gotten were just to offset some hp bills or transport or smth. now that im rather self sufficient, i think i really appreciate how much trouble my parents had to go through to take care of me. [and yes, im glad i finally realised this... aldoh at age 20 its abit late... but then again, better than said group member in previous paragraphs.] and yea, much more so for my parents than any parents of my frens, i think, with the fact that my parent's income will probably be one of the lowest they've ever seen. [with frens from atas schools, what do you expect huh. which makes me feel like slapping myself again cuz when i was younger i wld complain to my parents abt how little im getting compared to my frens when i so do not understand that they were doing the best to give me whatever i want already. BAH. how did i dare. =( punches head.]
oh yea, back to working at SB. the people there are... so much simpler. happier. personable. less of the "networking" relationship. satisfied. not to say they do not have goals or are stagnating. they do dream of having their own restaurants. eventually getting a diploma. etcetc. they are just more CONTENT. compared to people i talk to in uni, they really know their needs. their wants.
a certain colleague, MY AGE, has a daughter already. so he has this huge chunk of savings from working since i dunno how young. and sharing his dreams of wanting to get a degree in some f&b thing, i asked why he didn't want to use his savings. and u know what, he said... im saving it for my daughter's education, my parent's medical expenses. i dunno. i think damn selfless can. comparing to people around me who... i dunno. thinks about how they are going to spend their next paycheck. OK I ADMIT IM LIKE THAT TOO... im saving for my own holidays. shit la. i feel.. damn.. juvenile.
anw, the people there really genuinely makes frens because... they WANT to. they inqure about how you feel, how was your day.. because they are truly INTERESTED. when i say something, they REMEMBER. like when i was whining about a blister, they hunted for plasters, asked about it the next day. when i told them im damn stressed about sch, they persuaded me to take a break and chill and made a drink for me. they feel so REAL. and u know what, we din even have to exchange emails, hp no., FACEBOOK details or anything. aldoh i cant really contact them, they really feel like friends.
i digress. what im trying to say is that, they lead such a different life from me. can u imagine surviving on the pathetic pay, well, not me. but i think quite alot of people do survive on that kinda pay... once again... IM DAMN LUCKY CAN. and u know what, if u can read this, you probably are too. [u got ur own comp and internet right. =_=... see, trash so many people liao!]
ok, i think i AM content with my life.
change starts from oneself. i shd really have a more postive attitude. [which apparently i appear to have.. HMMM. i wonder.]
anw, random student ranting here:
ARGHS. annoyed. MA reports are NOT in yet. *glares at people* and neither is Finance [which im rather worried about as presentation is THIS WEDNESDAY?!?!?!?!? *frantic looks around*] thank god income tax is... =) aldoh i swear i hate income tax and i suck at it. and MPW is =) is also... i think some people are just more responsible.
oh bleah im getting angsty and worrying about next sem because of that... but its not worth it cuz i think the certain somebody does produce work. its just so last minute that i worry. -_-. twiddles thumbs. shall not think so far in advance. waste my braincells.
ohhh. i think taking elective lit in secsch really affects my writing style... see how i write is SEE. statement, evidence, elaboration? [maybe not this paragraph, but... you know...]
and ok, i shall attribute all emo posts to the fact that i actually have damn alot of work and reports to write but as a form of evasion, i come online and blog. and this is SO evident in the previous few sems when exams looms onto me. =X what a long rant.
emo and hides in a corner. again.
so what if i have parents who are BFSIJDFGAIG-ly irritating, im like damn happy they're alive la. ok, angsty at myself from just being so irritable to them. *slaps* arghs and i can't bring myself to go apologise to them. i suck. GRR. =X
ok, not just this kinda random stuff that happens anyway. i think life really changed for me now that im more in control of my life. working at SB really did make me wake up. YESYES, i know i always worked anw. but those environments were so... sheltered. i was still able to randomly ask for money from my parents, and the salaries that i've gotten were just to offset some hp bills or transport or smth. now that im rather self sufficient, i think i really appreciate how much trouble my parents had to go through to take care of me. [and yes, im glad i finally realised this... aldoh at age 20 its abit late... but then again, better than said group member in previous paragraphs.] and yea, much more so for my parents than any parents of my frens, i think, with the fact that my parent's income will probably be one of the lowest they've ever seen. [with frens from atas schools, what do you expect huh. which makes me feel like slapping myself again cuz when i was younger i wld complain to my parents abt how little im getting compared to my frens when i so do not understand that they were doing the best to give me whatever i want already. BAH. how did i dare. =( punches head.]
oh yea, back to working at SB. the people there are... so much simpler. happier. personable. less of the "networking" relationship. satisfied. not to say they do not have goals or are stagnating. they do dream of having their own restaurants. eventually getting a diploma. etcetc. they are just more CONTENT. compared to people i talk to in uni, they really know their needs. their wants.
a certain colleague, MY AGE, has a daughter already. so he has this huge chunk of savings from working since i dunno how young. and sharing his dreams of wanting to get a degree in some f&b thing, i asked why he didn't want to use his savings. and u know what, he said... im saving it for my daughter's education, my parent's medical expenses. i dunno. i think damn selfless can. comparing to people around me who... i dunno. thinks about how they are going to spend their next paycheck. OK I ADMIT IM LIKE THAT TOO... im saving for my own holidays. shit la. i feel.. damn.. juvenile.
anw, the people there really genuinely makes frens because... they WANT to. they inqure about how you feel, how was your day.. because they are truly INTERESTED. when i say something, they REMEMBER. like when i was whining about a blister, they hunted for plasters, asked about it the next day. when i told them im damn stressed about sch, they persuaded me to take a break and chill and made a drink for me. they feel so REAL. and u know what, we din even have to exchange emails, hp no., FACEBOOK details or anything. aldoh i cant really contact them, they really feel like friends.
i digress. what im trying to say is that, they lead such a different life from me. can u imagine surviving on the pathetic pay, well, not me. but i think quite alot of people do survive on that kinda pay... once again... IM DAMN LUCKY CAN. and u know what, if u can read this, you probably are too. [u got ur own comp and internet right. =_=... see, trash so many people liao!]
ok, i think i AM content with my life.
change starts from oneself. i shd really have a more postive attitude. [which apparently i appear to have.. HMMM. i wonder.]
anw, random student ranting here:
ARGHS. annoyed. MA reports are NOT in yet. *glares at people* and neither is Finance [which im rather worried about as presentation is THIS WEDNESDAY?!?!?!?!? *frantic looks around*] thank god income tax is... =) aldoh i swear i hate income tax and i suck at it. and MPW is =) is also... i think some people are just more responsible.
oh bleah im getting angsty and worrying about next sem because of that... but its not worth it cuz i think the certain somebody does produce work. its just so last minute that i worry. -_-. twiddles thumbs. shall not think so far in advance. waste my braincells.
ohhh. i think taking elective lit in secsch really affects my writing style... see how i write is SEE. statement, evidence, elaboration? [maybe not this paragraph, but... you know...]
and ok, i shall attribute all emo posts to the fact that i actually have damn alot of work and reports to write but as a form of evasion, i come online and blog. and this is SO evident in the previous few sems when exams looms onto me. =X what a long rant.
emo and hides in a corner. again.